I have been pursuing a goal for the past two months and I am done up for the moment. Before my birthday coming, I want to get rid of this awful feeling and get recovered from this grueling process. Sometimes I think, should it be fair that I should be treated in this way? I really wanna run away from it by just getting a YES or NO sentence. The longer I stick in it, the harder I get out of it. The reason is too simple: this time I put all my eggs in one basket (I ignored my friend’s suggestion.) and I made my 200% effort to pursuit it even I don’t know what drives me like this. It is a  TORTURE that afflict my each nerve, my body, my spirit, my passion, etc. I hate pending decision. Therefore, with friends suggestion, I open a blog and I think this blogging room is a place where I could find where left peace of my mind. I hope that things come out obviously in July, and if not, I will not let it bug me anymore. I need a new jumping-off point. In fact, I am very happy to have such a PAINFUL experience since I have found a way to be a winner through looking back from this event. It’s like Ming Yao’s toe, after an “operation” and a convalescence, I will be back, in my coming birthday, more stronger, more vigorous, more aggressive, and more wisdom.